May 24, 2013 at 1:47 pm #549
I just got back from Abadiania on Monday. I was there about a week. During that time, I had an invisible operation and a visible operation. The first Casa day on Wednesday, I didn’t show anyone my healing request. They say that the entities already know why you are there anyways and the list is just a formality. They asked people that if they wanted a spiritual operation they could come inside. So, I did. As soon as I sat down in the third current room, I could feel a wave of emotion coming over me like I could cry. But, as soon as that came, they asked if anyone wanted a physical operation. I raised my hand and they led me in front of Joao. When I walked up to him, I felt a wave of emotion coming over me again and wanted to reach out and grab his hand. I didn’t though because he looked at me briefly and said something to Diego, the translator. Diego told me that I could not have physical operation and so I went to sit back down in the current room. About a minute after I sat, they said we were done and led us out. I didn’t feel like anything had been done. I went back to my pousada for 24 hr isolation. My husband went back to the Casa and got my herbs and blessed water. My healing requests were to get rid of my anxiety disorder which was causing bladder and muscle tension problems in my body. My husband had decided a month before we were to go that he didn’t want to go because of religious reasons. I almost cancelled our trip. He ended up promising that he would be as supportive of the trip as he could. I was hoping that while we were in Abadiania, his attitude would change but it did not. He stayed at the pousada the whole time or would walk up and down the street. It wasn’t positive energy to be around. He was just afraid for me, so I can’t be too angry at him. I stayed at the Casa mostly except when I was eating and then I would go back to the pousada. Thursday afternoon I was able to come back to the Casa for the 2:00 line. Again, they asked if anyone wanted operation, so I went in for spiritual operation. I told one of the volunteers when I was sitting down that I wanted a physical operation. He lead me to the chair where Joao sits, but Joao wasn’t there yet. I stood for about 15 mins with my eyes closed, one hand over my heart, and the other hand over my lower abdomen. I just stood and prayed. Then, Joao grabbed my arm and led me to a chair. He said something to me in Portugese and briefly ran his hands down my body. He then tilted my head back and scraped my right eyeball with a knife. It looked like some sort of pocket knife. Yes, it hurt. I flinched and squirmed quite a bit. It probably only lasted about 30 seconds or less and then they wheeled me into recovery. I was sitting on a recovery bed for about an hour or so while a woman placed cotton balls soaked in blessed water over my eyes. I kept thinking the whole time that I hope I am not blind! They finally put a patch over my eye and let me leave. When I walked into my room at the pousada, my husband was mortified. I don’t know why he was so surprised because he knew that Joao did those sorts of things and that I would volunteer for a physical operation. My eye healed within a day and a half. Anyways, I wasn’t able to go back to the Casa at all on Friday. I kind of wish I had sat in current on Thursday and then had another operation on Friday. That way I would had all three Casa days in. I also felt like I needed to sit in one of the current rooms for awhile and get that emotion I got the first day and cry everything out. I didn’t get to do that.
I almost stayed another week by myself and let my husband go back home. I prayed about it and had overwhelming anxiety so I took that as a sign and decided to leave. I had some anxiety while I was there in Abadiania and that’s what I wanted to be healed from. I think it all had to do with the fact that my husband was giving off negative energy and I was feeling that. That’s why I stayed at the Casa so much and tried to remain positive and open to the experience. One woman I met said that she is also a medium and that sometimes things get amplified because energy is getting stirred around and comes to the surface.
I tried to stay by myself at the Casa alot and meditate. I didn’t socialize much with anyone else. I did meet a couple of people that I would talk to while eating my meals but that was it. I wanted the experience to be more in solitude so I could focus on my own healing. One guy from Denmark that I met thought that I needed to overcome my fears and stay alone without my husband and acted like I was doing the wrong thing by leaving. I had reasons for not staying other than being without my husband. He doesn’t know me or what fears I have had to face in my life. I didn’t ask for his advice and didn’t appreciate the doubt he was giving me. I tried to think that if I was to receive the healing, it would happen regardless of other things that were going on. Also, I decided that if I was to come in the future, I would come with someone else who wanted to be there. I wanted to do that this time, but it was too short notice for anyone else to go.
The last day in Abadiania, I did alot of crying because I was afraid that I didn’t get the experience that I wanted. I was angry because I couldn’t decide whether I should stay or go. I was upset that I was in that position. I thought for sure that I would be at peace while I was there and everything would become clear to me as long as I prayed. It didn’t happen that way. I was sitting out on the covered porch that overlooked the valley and was crying when I noticed that six dogs came up to me. The dogs there were so funny. Later while I was there crying, a woman came up to me and placed her hands on my shoulders and repeated something in another language that I didn’t understand. I think she was probably telling me that it would all be okay. I never thanked her for that because I was too busy being upset. I hope she understood. I also sat down and wrote a letter to everyone that I was angered towards and told them that I forgave them. I then put the letters in the triangle. I’m not sure if that was okay or not but that’s what I did. It felt therapeutic for me.
I was hoping that I would see Joao walking the Casa grounds on Saturday or Sunday so maybe I could ask him about all of my anxiety that I was having. I saw him the Monday night and Tuesday afternoon, so I thought he might be there hanging out one day on the weekend. Unfortunately, I did not see him.
Since returning home, I have still had quite a bit of anxiety. Nothing has changed. I don’t know if my anxiety is amplified because of my disappointment in my trip because it wasn’t as uplifting as I’d hoped or if I’m still purging out my system. When you have an anxiety attack, everything is scary. Even though, I don’t think anything bad happened to me while I was there, if I have an anxiety attack, it feels like it has. It’s hard to explain, but I’ve been dealing with this for years and have tried alot of different techniques and counseling to rid myself of it. I was hoping that the entities would help, but only time will tell because they say that the healing process can take awhile.
Tuesday night I had to say a prayer and place blessed water by my bed. I did that. I woke up at 2am and was shaking like I had just had a panic attack. I have woken up that way before so that’s not real surprising. However, I didn’t feel scared and the shaking lasted for a lot longer than it normally does. I was afraid that the bed shaking was going to wake up my husband. He ended up waking up anyways because of a bad dream.
Now that I’m home, I’m still going to do my normal routines of things I do to try to help my conditions. I pray that I am getting healed even though I don’t feel any different. Like I said before, if I go again I will go with someone else who actually is there for healing along with me. Maybe the experience will be different. A couple of women at my pousada told me that I probably received all of the healing that was required even though I was only in the invisible operation for less than 5 minutes total and I didn’t feel anything special in the other one as well. I hope they are right.
May 24, 2013 at 2:00 pm #550
Great post. Love your style of writing. I think your husband has his own perception of Abadiania and I don’t think he prevented for you to have a healing in any way. Well I am not experiencing anything getting better. I stayed here because I could for 1 year and I did not have anything else to do that is more important.
Keep us updated with your improvement, piece and love
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